I recently shared why psychological safety is so important and that the use of "belonging cues" is the glue holding high performing teams together. According to author Daniel Coyle in "The Culture Code", another skill vital to high performing teams:  Share Vulnerability.  While building safety is the glue, shared vulnerability is the muscle. 

Share Vulnerability  

Vulnerability I feel is much misunderstood. Understanding what vulnerability means and how to harness it are some of the hardest things for leaders to master.  

Leaders Question: Do you reveal your own limitations or do you pretend they don't exist?  

At some level we know that vulnerability sparks cooperation and trust. You knew that, right? Yet, it's one of the things we naturally avoid. We have our guard up as we assess, "is it safe here?"

Note: To help build a high performing culture, I created my Communication Accelerator™. Get my free Communication Accelerator™ Cheat Sheet right now.

Vulnerability on a personal level is having an awareness of your limitations and sharing that you have weaknesses. Honestly, you and I have weaknesses. It's part of being human.

Being honest with yourself and sending a clear message that you don't have it all figured out, models behaviors for others. And the behaviors they see empowers them to respond in kind. This allows setting insecurities aside and getting down to work collaboratively. (Leaders Note: If you don't think that everyone is watching nearly every move you make, you're mistaken). 

It Takes Courage

It takes courage to show that you are vulnerable. Demonstrating that you are fallible, gives space for others to do the same. Encouraging vulnerability clears the mental and emotional static away and lets you and your team work as one. 

"Tell me what you want, and I'll help you"

Relentless Truth-Telling

As a leader, having a relentless curiosity and a knack for asking the right questions that ignite ideas and motivation can go a long way to fostering teamwork. 

To create hyper-focused cooperation there needs to be a relentless practice and willingness to see the truth and take ownership at all levels. It does no good to have a "we vs. them" attitude. It needs to be "all of us". And it requires taking 100% responsibility for everything.  

What Comes First, Trust or Vulnerability?

For years I thought that first you build trust, then vulnerability is created. But, Coyle writes, "...science is showing us that we've got it backward. Vulnerability doesn't come after trust - it precedes it." 

Sharing vulnerability becomes contagious and an invisible vulnerability loop is created. Vulnerability is a psychological requirement. Vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's a strength.

Daniel Coyle shares several ideas for action. First, start with a plan. It requires frequency and repetition, relentless modeling and messaging.

If you as the leader don't make it important, it won't be important. What you acknowledge and reward sets the bar high. What you ignore or tolerate erodes your culture of cooperation and sets the lowest common denominator.

Some Actions to Consider:

• Make Sure the Leader is Vulnerable First and Often (100% responsibility)

• Own up to your own limitations. If you screw up, own it. State it. It could be the most important words you can say.

• Overcommunicate Expectations (be explicit and persistent) 

• Deliver the Negative Stuff in Person (face-to-face is always best)

• Listen without judgment and resist trying to add value to the conversation

• Aim for Candor; Avoid Brutal Honesty

• Use Flash Mentoring - real-time and in the moment

• Make the Leader disappear (I love this one)

To help you frame up conversations and use some of these suggested actions in building your culture of vulnerability, I created The Communication Accelerator Cheat Sheet. Click on this link and get instant access to your FREE download.

Until next time!

p.s. Get my free Communication Accelerator Cheat Sheet right now.

"I'm driven by one overarching belief. A belief that you are responsible for being the best leader you can be,  for your family, your company, your community  leaving the world a little bit better off than before."