For the past four weeks, I've had to do something that I wasn't anticipating. I was completely caught off guard.

I've had to devote nearly all of my attention to family business.

Let me explain...

Years ago my dad owned a full-service Chevron gas station. But that's not the business I'm referring to.

I'm talking about the business of finding a place for mom. Sounds simple but trust me, this is a full-time job. And I wanted to share with you some things I've learned these past several weeks.

The Situation...

My mother contracted Covid and even though it was a very mild case, she was in the hospital for 10 days. Now that she's at a rehabilitation center regaining her strength we are in the process of finding a new home for her.

You see, it became apparent that mom cannot continue to live by herself.

What to do?

Once we found out that mom was in the hospital, and after discussions with her care team and social worker, my wife and I began to do some research. We came across A Place For Mom online.

I completed an intake form online late in the evening and by the next morning, I had a call with our advisor, Mary Ellen. Within hours after speaking with Mary Ellen, I had several assisted listing communities to choose from, each with the range of services that we needed for mom.  I am so grateful that we contacted them.

Family...

There are a wide range of emotions you and your family members will go through. There is a lot of denial mostly at first, some angst and maybe even some anger.

There are of course family dynamics, relationships and emotions that surface in times like these. And living in another state as I do, adds a great deal of complexity to these dynamics.

All of this can be overwhelming.

We are making major decisions for mom that will likely result in her life being totally different from the life she has known for many years.  But it will be a better life.

There are so many things to consider. How do her bills get paid? What finances are available to pay for the services and care she needs? What does this all cost? What about insurance? What to do with her home?

You'll get through it.

Finding a good quality community requires virtual and onsite tours and visits, including interviews with the residents. What level of service does mom need? What is the quality of the staff, the facilities, the food, etc.? Is she totally independent or does she need advanced forms of care like memory care?

Also, consider the estate, wills, living wills, powers-of-attorney, and healthcare surrogates or healthcare powers-of-attorney. You may want to consult an attorney.

You or someone in your family may need to make important decisions for mom or dad and having these documents in place before a crisis occurs helps to lessen the emotional strain.

Final Thoughts

I hope that you and your family do not have to face a situation like ours, but more and more it seems, many of us have or will.

If you find that your parents might be better off living in an independent living community or assisted living community, I highly recommend contacting A Place For Mom.  They provide a free service to help you find the right place for mom or dad.

Also, my good friend Corey Rieck is a long-term care specialist. Long-term care insurance is designed to help families cover some or all of the costs of long-term care.  You can check out Corey on his website. Click Here.

I'll admit, it's sad to see mom in a weakened state, at times confused and wondering what's going to happen next. We had a good conversation the other day and she understands that she can't be by herself any longer. The good news is that she's getting stronger and we now have a plan in place.

I am comforted in that she will be in a better place soon.  In my heart I know that her new home and community will be far better for her with the right kind of care she needs close at hand.

As mom told me the other day, "I never thought I would be in this position so soon, but that's life I guess".  Yes mom.  It is.

Until Next Time!

John J. Fenton is a leading authority on transformational leadership, an award winning speaker, best selling author and mentor to CEO's and Managing Partners who love growing their businesses, but hate the stress that comes with it. You can find him on LinkedIn and his website, www.JohnJFenton.com. You can also reach him directly at John@JohnJFenton.com.